Homesickness (by Ruth Cobb)

The Choir School has a great deal of experience with homesickness and has developed a successful approach to dealing with this difficult, but common situation.

First, keep in mind that homesickness is missing the place and people to whom you are connected. It is a good thing to have developed strong ties and natural for you to miss them. It is also a sign that you are a strong confident person and can attach to another place and new people with a bit of effort.

Here are a few of our tips on dealing with the issue:

• When missing home or family, try to re-channel your focus on your desire to be in the Course and working with your new friends. Going off by yourself and turning inward will not help; become engaged in the current activity.
• If you’re having a difficult time with the music, schedule, roommate, etc., the staff is ready to help – seek out someone. Ms. Sullivan (the nurse) makes a wonderful cup of tea; Ms. Beien is an great listener; Mr. Holst was once a homesick chorister himself so he’ll empathize; Ms. Haynes Lennox (aka Princess) is a great confidant; Ms Winser has been away from her home all year and Ms. Pellegrini missed her little boy when he first started at the Choir School – ditto for Mrs. Cobb.
• A phone call home is guaranteed to make you and your parents feel worse. You will cry when you have to hang up and that will have to happen. In the words of one of our wise young girls, “I said good-bye once and it was hard; I don’t want to do that again. I’ll say hello on Sunday.” Even when given phone time, she refused to call. She’ll be back with us for the 4^th year!
• We’ve found that the girls are the best help for other girls. Contrary to what you may fear – the other girls absolutely understand your feelings and most will tell you that they have felt the same way. You’ll feel better with a friend to pull you into the activity.
• Parents, we will try to post on the blog when we expect that the girls may be given phone time (twice during the week). This is always dependent on our schedule going as planned. We never have phone calls before bed time – a recipe for disaster. Time is short and our schedule tight. We try to emphasize in the literature that girls need to be of a certain maturity to participate. If you are wondering about your daughter, please feel free to call or email Mrs. Cobb (rcobb@choirschool.org). As a veteran mother of three boarding schools I know you want to know, but give your daughter the opportunity to grow as a confident and independent young woman.